Think outside the box

I don’t know about you, but I am a creature of habit and routine and once one has been established it is hard to change. This can be good or bad depending on the habit; balance in life is the key to living well. Of late I have noticed that I have been spending too much time in front of the “box” that we call TV. I admit it I am a bit of a junkie when it comes to movies or a good series like, House and Madmen. The trouble is, if we are not careful we can be sucked in and it can change from a treat or occasional, to the norm.

As I said, recently I have noticed that my time allocation has been shifting from things I should be focused on, to what’s on the box. Because of this other areas in my life are beginning to suffer, such as sleep, studies and even my relationships with others. My priorities have become skewed, just like it would with any other singular focus. I am sure you have heard the phrase, “too much of a good thing.” Well, for me this is certainly the case.

In life, each of us can get caught in one of these ruts. We can find ourselves comfortable or resistant to change, this is why I believe strongly in the art of discipline/fasting. In order to regain balance, sometimes one must take drastic measures to restore the proper level of importance to the things in our life. Although to some this might seem drastic or crazy for a guy like me, who defines himself as all or nothing, it’s just right. So with October rolling around, I have decided to take a break, a little vacation and focus on thinking outside of the box. I challenge you to do the same with something that is too BIG in your own life.

My Wife, My Hero

Many of you know this already, but I adore my wife and she is my hero. Despite the frequent rumors, she rescued me and it was not the other way around. Merna, my wife is vision impaired this in no way means that she is disabled! I hate that word, because it is full of ignorance and lacks the understanding that we are all differently gifted from God.

What I mean to accomplish by writing this blog is to open people’s eyes to how wonderful she is, how courageous and how good God is. Now I do need to point out here that even with my understanding of who she is this is only a fraction of what I am sure she has to cope with on a daily basis. I want you to imagine what it is like to not be able to see by closing your eyes, feel the darkness sink into to your mind. I know that you’re probably like me and can stumble around in the dark at night to get that glass of water or use the washroom, but think of being outside of an environment that you know. Slowly go through all of the daily routines, like taking a shower, picking out your clothes, walking to the bus, finding a seat, knowing if you’re on time or simply seeing a Tim Horton’s you can pull into for that first coffee. Now go over them again with no or low vision. Can’t find the shampoo that your husband moved, not sure if your shirt matches your pants or shoes, not being able to see the construction on the sidewalk, missing the bus because he stopped short of the actual stop, and not knowing where you are or simply what stores are available. I hope you don’t have to use the washroom right now; you might be walking into the men’s room instead of the ladies.

What I have described above is a fraction of what my lovely wife deals with daily and if you couple this with good intentioned people, who grab her, pull her cane or simply walk over it to get on the bus first then I think you will start to understand her better. I don’t know about you, but I have doubts that I could do it. Simply living seems to tuff, except that for her it isn’t. She lets nothing stop her from doing what she wants to do; trial and error does not phase her. Top that off with all of her abilities, like crochet, harmonica, piano, cycling, singing and her continuous offers to assist those around her and you being to have an appreciation for how wonderful she is.

So I will close this letter with thanks to God for bringing her in my life and guiding her on a daily basis. Truly I have been blessed as a man to know so great a woman.

Benefits of Sleep

My brother posted a challenge on Facebook the other day, one which I have chosen to accept. Now only after I had done so, did I learn that he was not the author of the challenge but simply an advocate of the idea. The premise of this challenge was to create a piece of writing without electronics, but with the old school pen and paper. The perception being that by doing this exercise, it would result in better content and writing. And so here I am writing today about sleep, the subject my brother David suggested. As you can see I have typed the resulting piece from the original chicken scratch.

As I am both fond of sleep and know many of its values, I think this was a good choice. Sleep is an essential part of life and takes up and makes up about one third of our day and by extension life. I suggest that it is very important to all of us and that the benefits of sleep are numerous. Here are the ones that I personally value the most.

Sleep is great for repairing the body. During this immobile state, all of the body’s miraculous energies have the opportunity to focus inwards. Scars heal, nails and hair grow, blood is made and even our spines are rejuvenated. Did you know that while you are laying down the individual parts of your spine swell? These fluids which are lost during the day; after the effects of gravity and the whole day have been pressing you down are once again allowed to pool and be absorbed.  That means that you are taller in the morning then when you go to bed.

Not only is does our physical being and body reboot, but so do our complex minds. As we sleep our brain switches into housekeeping mode and begins the filing of information. Memories that have been taken in during the day are sifted and transported from short term to long term memory. Many times I have even awakened during this process by the solving of a problem that occurred during the day. I am sure that if I were to interview people, that they would have similar stories of their own sleeping Eureka moments.

As with both the mind and body, our spirits are refreshed as well. Today in our fast paced environments we are constantly bombarded by information, stimulation and anxiety riddled issues. This overwhelming condition can only be reset through sleep. If you are like me, you can sometimes get too wrapped up in things and then they can override all other reasonable thoughts. This worry or obsessing state is not only damaging but also stops you from moving forward and impacting other things that you wanted to accomplish. Sleep is the ultimate perspective reset. My problems never seem to be as large or as important the following morning as they do in the present moment. The simple fact that my existence is established daily, every morning, brings new attitude and appreciation for life.

So let us not be childlike and struggle against this great gift, but let us rejoice that come the morning we will feel more than just refreshed, but new and full of life in the knowledge that with sleep comes energy, perspective and good health.

Dress Code: It had to be said

at·trac·tive

adjective

1. providing pleasure or delight, especially in appearance or manner; pleasing; charming; alluring: an attractive personality.

2. arousing interest or engaging one's thought, consideration, etc.: an attractive idea; an attractive price.

3. having the quality of attracting.

beau·ty

noun,

1. the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

lust

noun

1. intense sexual desire or appetite.

2. uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.

3. a passionate or overmastering desire or craving (usually followed by for ): a lust for power.

Okay now that we have the definitions of the world’s idea of what is beautiful and attractive, I would like to address an issue that in my opinion has gotten out of proportion; today I would like to discuss our obsession with our physical bodies.

I am noticing more and more the lack of decorum; you could even call it a lack of grace or shame with the way some people dress. Everyday my vision is assaulted with the sights of people wearing what I would call inappropriate clothing. From a man’s perspective I have to say that it has gotten to the point where I have left a room, elevator and store isle, because I was not comfortable being in the same space as the individual in question. Now I know that we are supposed to have an open mind, allow for individuality and even have understanding for our differences. But just like every other area of society, boundaries and limits are necessary for all parties.

I have seen pockets on shorts, which are longer than the shorts, shirts that are sheerer than my curtains, yoga pants so tight that every crease is visible and people with more clothes on at the beach than some walking around in the mall. My question is when is enough, enough from the perspective of the collective society? I say that if you approach me to talk to me and have to cover your chest with your hand or pull up a piece of clothing maybe your wardrobe needs to be adjusted.

 All the ladies that I call friends, and family members near and far, you know that I love you, but believe me when I say that dressing this way is not good. I know that some of you feel good all dressed up and that you want to look your best. But when did your best mean exposing as much skin as possible without being arrested for exposure? I have to ask what are you hoping to attract and how could you possibly feel good showing everything God gave you to everyone? How meaningful will intimacy with your significant other be, if privacy or modesty is not in the mix? If we have seen it all, what then is left for us to discover? You are more than the sum of your parts, you are a mind, soul and body.

Look at it this way, if you encourage men to think of you and focus on only the physical then how long will that kind of attraction last? Our bodies do and will change, don’t you want someone around who sees to the heart of you and not just that new grey hair or wrinkle. What emotion other than lust is involved with the sight, none that I can think of? So when our need for comfort, joy, safety, security, intimacy, and all the other ranges of emotional needs arise how satisfied will you be?

Why am I writing this, what is my point? I want you to know that you matter, you are more than the clothes and make up you wear and you have great value. Hopefully with this posting you will see it too.

1 Peter 3:3-5

New International Version (NIV)

³ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ⁵ For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.

Is calling someone disabled Prejudice?

Many people throw this term around without understanding it’s true meaning so I am looking to get them to think about it in a different light. First let me just say that we are all disabled in some way form or fashion, we are all different and have different skills and abilities. It is what makes us humans unique; we were created in God’s image, all of us. The Bible even says, to curse no man for we were made in his image, James 3: 8-10.

Prejudice by definition, is projecting one's own ideas and concepts about an individual onto them without knowledge or validity or truth. These preformed ideas are usually based on limited knowledge regarding a geographic or cultural locale. I contest that in so doing, we are actually disabling our own minds and ourselves. For the definition of disable is; “ to make unable or unfit; weaken or destroy the capability of; cripple; incapacitate: ie. He was disabled by blindness. ”

This is where I would like to pose a general question, since when has focusing on anyone shortcomings ever lifted our perception of anyone or see the best in them or the hope of Christ which lives in us? It doesn’t. If you notice the definition above again, it say to make in the beginning, that is referring to the person who is doing the projecting. The object, or person who you are judging is not actually what you believe they are just because you think it. We as a society must make room in our minds for the possibilities of an individual, and should not limit them to our musing or limited understanding of their attributes.

I would like to suggest that we are called to a higher calling, one of enablement, both of our minds and others. In Corinthians 12:11-13 , Paul mentions that we are all part of one body with diverse gifts and callings and that we should exhort one another in Hebrews 10:25. So I encourage you to step out of that box we have been living in and have an open mind regarding people’s abilities. I ask you to see them as different-abled and not disabled and renew your mind as in Romans 12:2.

P.S. Just another additional thought that crossed my mind on the subject. Sometimes we focus so much on the ability that we lose sight of the person and in our minds they become the disability we percieve and stop being the person. We need to all stop objectifying each other and accept each other as Christ did for us.

Valentine's Day

As some one who is married I just want to say that I do not buy into the commercialism of the social pact of Valentine's Day. That being said I would in no way use this as an opportunity to mistreat or disrespect my wife, it is not her fault the world is broken and misguided. As I remember my wedding vows there are words that come to mind like, "to love, cherish, and honour." These are the gifts we should be giving each other not just today but everyday. Those who know me, understand that I enjoy surprising my wife with flowers and other things all the time. But on this day I wish to honour her, by saying thank you. Thank you for all of the crazy things that you put up with. Men and women are innately different and being friends can sometimes be hard, so to my wife I wish to extend my gratefulness for the fact that you continue to work on our marriage with me as a partner.  You truly are my Valentine each and every day of the year.

Right now we are studying the Mars hill series Real Marriage and are benefiting greatly. My hope is that this and other resources will; with each passing year, deepen our relationship, and that both of us gain a greater understanding of who we are in the Lord Jesus Christ and therefore by extension our role in this life and to each other. May the Lord bless each marriage and as for me and my house we will continue to serve the Lord. As long as Christ is the focus of any marriage it is destined to prosper.

For those interested in finding out how to be a better friend to their wife here is the Mars hill series.

Click here to check out this 5 part video series.

Sacred Oath

I will obey the Lord and cleave to my wife and treat her as one flesh. Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh and to not be ashamed. I promise to never miss-represent our relationship to anyone, I will not covet my neighbors wife. I understand that whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. I will live joyfully with the wife whom I loveth all the days of the life of my vanity. I promise as commanded to render unto my wife benevolence and to love you as the head of a wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. And to love you as my own body, for so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, He that loveth his wife loveth himself. I shall obey the command, Ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the Grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.