Gift
The dictionary defines the word gift as something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.
For many years I have been struggling with the concept of receiving and giving gifts or presents to those who have no, or very little needs. Our commercial and corporate society continue to bombard us each day; more so during the Christmas season, about how now is the time to have what you want. Here is your big chance to pamper yourself and get what you don’t have. The buy now pay later concept is so prevalent that I now hear commercials about taking out loans to be able to afford treating your family right. So I guess the biggest question is that I/we should be asking ourselves when do we, or should we give a gift?
Should we give solely because we have the means and ability, where are the lines and who sets the parameters for giving that gift and how do we ensure that it is appropriate? In my history of gift giving I have seen several simply opened and then put aside. I am sure that the receiver did appreciate it, but believe that at the core of things, a need was not there and certainly not met. On the other hand I can also remember giving gifts that were much needed and much appreciated and the impact of the gift was immediate and evident.
There have also been times when I was on the receiving end of a gift and it had little or no impact on me. This is not to say I did not appreciate the giver or the sentiment, but I simply did not need or require what was given. The core of this issue is that I have more than I need and have had since I can remember. This misconception of having needs is due to a belief in a commonly accepted lie, currently coursing through all of our lives today. That lie is that more is better. We as a society have swallowed this deception a little more each year. It has been so ingrained into us that it is so hard to see. It seems to me that each year the sheer volume of gifts under trees has ballooned, as if the amount of care or love from someone hinged on the quantity given.
I want you to try and remember what the best memories of Christmas past look like to you, what sticks out in your mind? For me it is the laughter of friends and family, the food we shared, the time in the kitchen cooking with my Grandmother who is no longer with us and yes the yearly PJs my mom allowed us boys to open on the Eve of Christmas. But what I remember the most is the love that joins all of those memories together and firmly concretes them in my mind. Christmas was never about the gifts, it was a feeling that was shared and expressed, and about a shared joy that a small baby came to Earth to be the best gift ever.
This event has been hidden over the years with all of the wrapping and bows of all the gifts we have exchanged and for some has even transplanted the true gift we used to give one another, Love. Every year I brace myself for the inevitable announcement of the people who have lost hope and committed suicide. People who have been lost and forgotten, I don’t know about you but I am tired of hearing it and heart sick just thinking about it.
So this year and every year from now, I am making a conscience effort to be more sensitive to actual needs that people have instead of their wants. I want to know people so well, that if I wanted to give them a gift, I would not have to guess what they needed for Christmas. Relationships that are not measured by what is packaged or wrapped up; but ones, that have meaning and care. I want and need ones that emulate the greatest gift ever given to another person, that of pure Love.
So I urge you today to give; what is needed, Love this year to all and try to do it without buying anything. Because your heart and my heart cannot be measure by what we buy, it can only be measured by that intangible portion, that spirit within that feeling we all have experienced in Christmas past. I repeat the definition again so it may be fresh in your heart and mind and please notice the absence of satisfying a want.
“Something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.”
Here is a great example my brother shared with me after reading my blog.
The dictionary defines the word gift as something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.
For many years I have been struggling with the concept of receiving and giving gifts or presents to those who have no, or very little needs. Our commercial and corporate society continue to bombard us each day; more so during the Christmas season, about how now is the time to have what you want. Here is your big chance to pamper yourself and get what you don’t have. The buy now pay later concept is so prevalent that I now hear commercials about taking out loans to be able to afford treating your family right. So I guess the biggest question is that I/we should be asking ourselves when do we, or should we give a gift?
Should we give solely because we have the means and ability, where are the lines and who sets the parameters for giving that gift and how do we ensure that it is appropriate? In my history of gift giving I have seen several simply opened and then put aside. I am sure that the receiver did appreciate it, but believe that at the core of things, a need was not there and certainly not met. On the other hand I can also remember giving gifts that were much needed and much appreciated and the impact of the gift was immediate and evident.
There have also been times when I was on the receiving end of a gift and it had little or no impact on me. This is not to say I did not appreciate the giver or the sentiment, but I simply did not need or require what was given. The core of this issue is that I have more than I need and have had since I can remember. This misconception of having needs is due to a belief in a commonly accepted lie, currently coursing through all of our lives today. That lie is that more is better. We as a society have swallowed this deception a little more each year. It has been so ingrained into us that it is so hard to see. It seems to me that each year the sheer volume of gifts under trees has ballooned, as if the amount of care or love from someone hinged on the quantity given.
I want you to try and remember what the best memories of Christmas past look like to you, what sticks out in your mind? For me it is the laughter of friends and family, the food we shared, the time in the kitchen cooking with my Grandmother who is no longer with us and yes the yearly PJs my mom allowed us boys to open on the Eve of Christmas. But what I remember the most is the love that joins all of those memories together and firmly concretes them in my mind. Christmas was never about the gifts, it was a feeling that was shared and expressed, and about a shared joy that a small baby came to Earth to be the best gift ever.
This event has been hidden over the years with all of the wrapping and bows of all the gifts we have exchanged and for some has even transplanted the true gift we used to give one another, Love. Every year I brace myself for the inevitable announcement of the people who have lost hope and committed suicide. People who have been lost and forgotten, I don’t know about you but I am tired of hearing it and heart sick just thinking about it.
So this year and every year from now, I am making a conscience effort to be more sensitive to actual needs that people have instead of their wants. I want to know people so well, that if I wanted to give them a gift, I would not have to guess what they needed for Christmas. Relationships that are not measured by what is packaged or wrapped up; but ones, that have meaning and care. I want and need ones that emulate the greatest gift ever given to another person, that of pure Love.
So I urge you today to give; what is needed, Love this year to all and try to do it without buying anything. Because your heart and my heart cannot be measure by what we buy, it can only be measured by that intangible portion, that spirit within that feeling we all have experienced in Christmas past. I repeat the definition again so it may be fresh in your heart and mind and please notice the absence of satisfying a want.
“Something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.”
Here is a great example my brother shared with me after reading my blog.
Another example of giving love posted by APC.
