Yesterday was the first day in a long time that the
temperature went above 10 degrees and it was fantastic. All day I look forward
to leaving work to get out and enjoy the brief glimpse of sunshine that I see
in a day. Standing outside waiting for the bus was pleasant for a change and I
sensed the same spirit in others who were with me. This was a day to be
embraced and enjoyed.
My state of jubilation was unfortunately short lived as I
had to step into the shade of the bus, but the real disappointment was only a
few bus stops away. As a young lady entered the bus and adjusted her barely
there top and mesh shirt which had holes the size of a two dollar coin and
nothing but a black bra underneath. Now I know that I am getting older and that
my perspectives are changing as I age but I felt nothing but pity and shame for
this young girl. So much so that I wanted to write this blog to try and impart
another perspective as to why this is not a good thing.
First and foremost ladies I want you to know that you have
value above and beyond your body. You need to know this. I don’t care how many
times you were told growing up that you were cute or beautiful, your value
should not be totally wrapped up in our physical appearance. I know that you
are continuously bombarded by the media and told to stay young as long as you
can and to do this and that to avoid the wear of the years. I also know that many of you have bought into
the culture that other women and yourselves are in a competition with each other
and instead of being friends and helping one another, there is an atmosphere of
jealousy, hate and overall disdain. This one upmanship is what I believe has
led to the level of hyper-sensuality that we all now live in. The commercials
and advertisements no longer hold anything back, mostly naked men and women
roll around on the screen promoting the newest fragrance of the season. Beckoning
to you, lying and telling you that if you have this product or use this perfume
you can catch that man or women of your dreams.
Stop right there, let me repeat that for you. They are lying
to you to sell more of their products by trying to make you believe that if you
have their; whatever, you can catch the perfect man of your dreams. They are in
fact bargaining with your mind and senses saying; if you do this, you can have
that. Or if you behave or dress like this the result will be good and
wholesome. WRONG. And let me tell you why it is wrong, but from a male
perspective.
Just like you, we too are bombarded by advertising, one
similar to yours. Telling us that if we drive this; or wear that, we too can
capture the interest of the hot blond on the commercial screen. With men the
issue is more visual than for women. Ask any women alive and they will tell you
that their sexual nature is wrapped up with emotions, but they will also tell
you that men are different and are driven but their eyes. This is why the
marketing has changed over the years, preying and feed on both men and women’s
weaknesses when it comes to being accepted, loved and understood. Basically
they are trying to make you as insecure as possible in order to sell you as
much as possible. The only problem with that is competition.
That’s right competition has brought on a new level of
exposure. Competition between brands, has led to riskier product lines and more
sexually charged advertising which in turn has led to many believing that the
more of their body they can use to attract the male gender the better. But I am
going to let you in on a secret. If you are staking your future on the visual
part of man you will lose, it will never be enough, for a man who is a slave to
his visual appetite is always hungry. Let me ask you a question, how can you
compete with thousands of ads full of airbrushed and doctored women, how could
you ever show more poise or flesh than the silver screen whose mistakes and
awkward moments were left on the cutting room floor? You can’t. If you base
attraction and meeting the perfect man on a physical level the resulting
relationship will always fail. Your looks will never be enough and by
association you will never be enough.
The good news is that there is still hope, we as a society
must let our children and daughters and sisters know that they are more than
their body and that character will always win over how they look. We must teach
our sons the same and nurture ones with integrity; wisdom and character who
will look beyond the advertisements and the flesh. For if a man falls in love
with a women’s character that is a love that will last. Looks will fade over
time, but a women’s character is unique, beautiful, valuable and worthy of a
man’s attentions. But if you choose to attract a man with your body; heed this
warning, once a slave to the flesh always a slave to the flesh. The likely hood
of that man never having enough is almost guaranteed. In contrast, if you
attract a man with your character you will have found a partner who bases their
affection on who you are and not what you look like. And as that grows during
your life you will realize that you have found the man of your dreams.
Don't believe me about the marketing lies being thrown at you, check out the following links:
